'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
