Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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