He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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