im drinking this country out of the recession.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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