yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You pole danced in your parka.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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