sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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