My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
