I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
