you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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