it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
