Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
