Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
