He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize