He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
