went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
