im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
