Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
