im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
