if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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