This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
