chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
