PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he shaved USA in his pubs
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
