i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
