Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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