When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
