My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
