when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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