is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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