I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
