Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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