first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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