I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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