I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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