So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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