So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
