I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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