the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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