I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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