i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
