its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
