That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
