i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
