you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it because I queefed?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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