were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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