i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Send help, water and tortillas.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
