so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
