Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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