Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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