Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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