I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
