Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
