I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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