Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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