and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
