Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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